After I got back to work on Wednesday, which was Hell, I should have taken one more day off, my adrenaline from Monday crashed. But I got through it. I bought Dr. Flamik and Shelby and Katelynn, who blew my vein but she was nice, which goes a lot farther even if you are inexperienced, gift cards to Boulevard and some cookies for the employee lounge. By Thursday I still hadn't heard anything from Mackenzie, and I became worried when I talked to Jeff the security guard who said that happens more often than it should in the ED, with the nurses.
I had a burning desire to be HEARD. I wrote an essay at 2:30 Thursday about my experience, one much more eloquent and less conversational than on the blog, and delivered it to Mackenzie and Mike Perkins and Pahls on Friday. Not in person, just in a work envelope. It felt a little like I was writing a victim's statement. Monday I had S's Christmas luncheon at his new building downtown, the Arkansas Pharmacy Association, so I had to cancel with Mackenzie but today her secretary rescheduled for 3:30.
I've had a lot of good experiences at Baptist as a patient, and it feels comforting to see familiar faces. Chandra, head of phlebotomy, did my bloodwork. Jeff checked on me - he spends a lot of time trying to keep the ED, which can be chaotic, safe. My goal here is to educate, not litigate, I assured Mackenzie. Mike and I's goal is not to be victims here, but to try to right a wrong. Mike called me after I shared the essay for feedback Thursday night.
I hope you aren't mad that I did something, he told me. I took a picture of you on the floor. Mad? Hell no. I felt validated. I shared it with Mackenzie. This nurse was insolent and aggressive and reading the room as wrong as hell, and refuting Mike's polite entreaties to get a stretcher. She asked if she could share my essay with the nurse manager, and I said absolutely. I told her after the weekend my urgency on the matter fell from 90% to 10%, but I didn't want to be swept under the rug.
She agreed, and I told her I talked to my sister about it this past weekend. She is a P.A. at Scottish Rite (sp?) in Atlanta. She told me she has long been frustrated that physicians and P.A.'s get peer reviewed, but the nurses don't which allows for a lot of bad behavior. Not just insolence, but laziness. They get hired, they behave badly, they get fired. No peer review. I asked Mackenzie if nurses get peer reviewed at this hospital.
I don't think so, she said. They get annual competencies, but not peer review. That's how we do it in my company, I told her, but we are much smaller and if there is bad behavior? Intentional or not? We root it out and address it immediately. We do not tolerate egos. Power trips. Laziness. She said I agree. I told her when you are vulnerable and someone is aggressive you doubt yourself. I did, I heard Mike doing it too. She said that is a good point.
So yesterday and Friday were awful. I became uncharacteristically terse with many employees on Monday and was glad to have a luncheon to go to. Shine, entertain. Get out of my own fing bad headspace. Enjoy the amazing view of the Capitol - there were obviously school carolers singing in abundance on the front lawn, I observed from the second floor which was created as an event space. The grand opening is tomorrow.
So if you've never seen carpal tetany I've got a pic. Of me, escaping incompetence on the ED floor. It's almost Wednesday, hump day, and I'm looking forward to a week off. Happy Tuesday, much love, Elizabeth
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