Sunday, October 2, 2022

Seismic Shifts

     There are things that happen in your life that shake you to your core. Crack you open, leave you bleeding, help you see the world in a whole new way, but the getting there is so fucking hard. I'm thinking of a few things. Riding a bike, diving into a pool, having your first freaking kid (Did ToysRUs really look like this before?). And then your adult kids are struggling, and you dive underwater again. Come up for breath, hesitantly. Because the world is different now.

    Lab inspection was fun but they are always hard. Chief of path was a tall drink of water, about 15 years older than  me and elegant as hell. They are always on the defense at first, because I've been on the wrong end of a lab inspection I know what hell that can be. But we aren't that. We are collegiate. When I asked her about her kids, about a half hour in, she seemed shocked. I was reading your resume over breakfast, I told her. I have two kids too. Any grands yet?

    Yes, she said, a couple, and we just learned last week we will be having twins. Still recovering from that news. My youngest is in Panama City this week and I worry about them getting back. The hurricane, I said, and told her about my family's experience. Panama City will be fine, I assured her. My parents have been tracking it. It'll go way South of your kids. They will be safe. 

    She was kind of like a buttoned up Melody. Melody is a little easier and friendlier but I was the team leader so she was probably not being her real self. Super organized though - I've never gotten through a checklist quicker in my life. At the summation, I complimented her. But I did have to call her before, because something happened that has never happened to me at a lab inspection (I've done tons).

    Kayla, a young mom from Ward AR who supervises NLR was doing Heme/Coag. Her supervisor wasn't super helpful, kind of antagonistic, but towards the end of the day she snapped. Started yelling at Kayla making no sense. Mary went over to support Kayla while Angel and I were reeling. My adrenaline was pumping and I wondered is she going to get violent? What do we do here? 

    We do nothing. We support our own. I called the doctor to report it and told her that I would not bring it up at summation but someone needed to maybe check in with her. Her home life. I told the team if that was a member of our family I would address it more fully but ultimately that is their mess to deal with. Their own backyard. They were a very well functioning lab and they served their patients well and the CEO and CMO were happy so I've got nothing bad to bring to our governing agency.

    I'm not on call until mid-October so planning trips to Fayetteville to support C. She's good, she always was, she always will be, but she's in transformation. We all are, I told her. I've been struggling with GI issues for three years - can't be the badass hiker and yoga person I've always attached to myself. So the fuck what. Embrace the unknown. Because if you don't, you will get locked into horrible control patterns that won't serve you at all. Happy Sunday, much love, Elizabeth

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