Thursday, October 6, 2022

Cloud Nine

     Cecelia just called while I was getting a pedicure and I braced myself to ground her but she was the happiest I had heard her in two months. She had just been to a Spanish fair and saw her teacher and was given a high compliment. She was brainstorming about future jobs and all the possibilities in life. You are interested in global health? I'll bet there's a dr mom group for that on FB I can try to find possibility. And I think Paige Raborn is studying something like that at Georgetown do you feel comfortable calling her? Phoebe and Laura are still on my shit list from over a year ago but that's a rant I probably shouldn't take online. Yeah mom we've actually talked since all that happened that's a good idea.

    After a reeling Monday - she called 10 times and my GI was at it's peak Judas - well, not as bad as last Monday when the lab team took me home after dinner to the hotel and one of them got me ammodium to take for the lab inspection. I had to leave four times at dinner to head to the bathroom and to ground C. It's like I have cholera, I told them. When you are vulnerable, people open up to you. On the way back home Wednesday I sat next to Pam, head of cytology and uber ocd amazing inspector. She told me her daughter Liv had some of the same problems in college and she was in NOLA every weekend keeping her from going off the rails. Now at 26 they are much closer and Liv is flying. 

    So we got a VRBO in Fville this weekend. It's really different from last year - when I moved her in she was already changing. Last year she wanted me to plan dinners for her friends and take them shopping and I was never alone with her. Now she just wants to hang out with family and BiteSquad and shop. Even if it's just Target or grocery. I told her if plans pop up we can entertain ourselves but she only has one plan late Saturday night she wants to be with us otherwise. So that's good.

    It's funny S and I have a totally different philosophy of food. He adheres to expiration dates I'm like if it's not molding visually it's ok. Once when my power went out for a few hours when the kids were little on South Lookout I started to throw everything away after it came back on. My nanny, who didn't speak English, conveyed to me that this was a bad idea. It's fine, she said, yogurt and all, through hand gestures. Other cultures have a much better handle on this than we do.

    Since Monday GI stuff is a little better. I had a great session with Paula on Tuesday - I missed last week due to the lab inspection and two weeks was way too long. She gave me lots of tips. I feel like psychology/psychiatry is a construct. A useful one, but one that was developed in a patriarchal system to cure the ills of what it inflicts on women and minorities, and men too. So many people I have talked to said their kids struggled in their teens and early 20's bc of it. 

    Work has slowly been getting better and I need to go pack so I can leave as early as possible to get to Fville for dinner. Gotta check the weather if it's gonna be cold here it's gonna be colder up there. Maybe need to do some laundry too. Things are moving in the right direction. Hard, maybe, but that's what happens when you change. Gotta learn to feel discomfort and get a little comfortable with it. Happy Friday Eve, much love, Elizabeth


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