The architecture convention was nice, my first. Good to be the spouse of a convention rather than an attendee. I holed myself up in the hotel room and read three books and got a massage and walked around a bit - the locale was a concrete jungle but the weather was beautiful. Cecelia and her friends Mia and Blakely came up Thursday night and we treated them at Local Lime. The girls were happy and the food was wonderful and the tres leche cake servings were enormous.
Daisy Darker I'd recommend - I gave it to Cecelia to share with Mia and her roommates. The plot twist surprised me and the characters were interesting. I also read Verity, by Colleen Hoover maybe? It was terrible I left it in the hotel room. So much boring sex scenes I felt like I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which I never read, but I did pick it up from a friend on a beach trip and read maybe three pages? How does this stuff get NYT bestseller status? Are there that many sex starved people in the country that this is titillating? I was telling Mia and Blakely about it and they had heard of her and the reputation. Bad soft porn, I said. I starting skipping the scenes to try to get to the plot, which had a lot of holes. But it made for a quick read.
Love on the Brain was surprisingly wonderful brain candy. I had read her first book, and didn't love it, so I was hesitant to get into it but the characters were lovable and even though it was so predictable it still managed to have some surprises at the end. And cats. Lots of cat love. Intelligent brain candy, and full of humor. A good escape.
I need escape. It's been a tough Fall. Cecelia is entertaining a transfer and I continue to support her on that. She is crawling out of a dangerous path of overachieving without self nourishment. She's doing great, but there are still bumps in the road. I tell her that the more she is trying to control, and be her old rocket ship self, she is self sabotaging. This morning I gave her an example.
I've had a couple of rough anniversaries. Friday was one of them. About three years ago, I had another. We used to follow the traditional anniversary gifts, it was fun, but we abandoned it this year. That bad year was cotton. I bought a trivial t-shirt and a bundle of cotton - I was overworked and overstressed and didn't put the time in that it deserved. S did have time, it was about five months before he started his current job, and he put Heaven and Earth into it. Researched bedding and went all out.
I was not pleased. A person's bed is their haven. When I divorced, I researched it a lot. Got a brand new bed, sheets with a crazy good thread count - isn't that a thing? I can't remember, maybe the higher the better, and I bought the best. Found an amazing Eileen Fisher silk bedspread that I use to this day and had some custom designed silk pillows to accent the ones that had the duvet covers. I felt, with the change, that my safety had been stripped from me. Was I able to articulate this? No. Did I try to cover it up to preserve the day? Yes. It did not work. We had a terrible tense day of hiking and lunch at Tropical Smoothie and my attempts to cover up and salvage my disappointment with effort and false cheer were not successful. I was not able to explain this accurately until the ride home yesterday. It was freeing.
I try to teach this to my kids, especially C these days. You have to let go, it's hard, even for me, at almost 50. So you didn't have the picture perfect Halloween weekend. So you aren't achieving your goals as soon as you make them. So what? Lay on the couch, let go of FOMO, and stop freaking beating yourself up. Make plans with friends. Old trope but, fake it until you make it.
I took a walk today, and the smell of the outside and the dirt post rain and the transition to Fall and the Halloween decor at other's homes was a balm. I've got another couple of full work weeks then a short one. Planning to have a girl's weekend with Lys at her lake cabin after her Nov. 17 birthday. C is volunteering again at Camp Aldersgate this weekend and will be here Thursday night to shadow at Hendrix the next day. Happy Sunday, much love, Elizabeth