Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Non Binary

     Jack had some friends over last weekend. This doesn't happen very often, so I was really excited. After call, I went to Walgreen's and bought lots of Easter candy and went to Catering to You and bought gourmet popcorn and firecrackers (they were the most popular). A Southern tradition - I remember first learning about them at a Conway Regional potluck years ago. Soak saltines in butter, add copious red pepper and other spices, and bake. They are like crack. Noah and Jack polished them off quickly.

    I asked Jack who his friends were - Van and Nova are both girls I eat with at lunch, he said, but they identify as non binary. Oh boy. Another thing for me to learn. Lucy taught me all about transgender. She was only 20 when I met her and she had been transitioning with hormones for a year. She was loudly transgender in a state that wasn't quite ready for her, but I was. She aspired to be a model, and wanted to save her money to move to Ventura CA to be with her chosen family and realize her dreams.

    Which was a good thing, bc she was all pink and pretty when I met her (it was honestly a joy to be associated with someone so incredibly beautiful). Avery sometimes got frustrated with her when she worked at Boulevard bc she thought Lucy's definition of woman was to be admired by men. There's more to being a woman than that. Aww, let's cut her a little slack, I said. She's only been her true self for a year. She's young. She'll learn. Avery said that she was very awed by how much she was able to save money. And it paid off. She moved to CA last month, I learned on Insta. I see some of the clothes Christie and I bought her on her first ever shopping spree in her shoots and am proud to support her in a little way.

    She got black, I was worried, after she tried to start dating online. Arkansas (hell the whole world - my yoga friend Matt said they are demonizing the transgenders like they did the gays ten years ago) was not friendly. But she is confident as all hell and she recovered. I hope she has more luck in CA. She deserves it. She's young and gorgeous and set to conquer the world. We both celebrated when Sports Illustrated featured their first transgender model. 

    I was determined to learn what non-binary meant. I asked Sean, who worked at Boulevard Baptist last week for the first time in months - I gave him the biggest bear hug and Avery told me he is coming again tomorrow (Yay!). He said, Liz, honestly, I identify with LGBTQ but the definitions often confuse me. I'm really not sure. Christie didn't know either. Her son identified as gay from a young age but recently entered a relationship with a woman he met in college. Non-binary, I learned, is not identifying with any particular gender. 

    Not that I would bring anything up with Jack's friends but I wanted to understand what they identified with as a human being when I met them, which was around Saturday at noon when I was on the treadmill. I made plans to go to a movie with S to get out of their hair while they made mole and watched a movie. We saw Cyrano - I leaned over to S and groaned when they started singing. I didn't know it was a musical, I said. It's ok, he replied.

    Early in our relationship I took him to the movie Les Mis and it was a nightmare, he fell asleep and even I had to admit if fell flat, as a lot of musicals converted to movies do. He much preferred the live version at Robinson a couple of years ago. Cyrano had some good songs and some good scenes too, some I'd revisit, but not the movie overall. The awkward kiss reveal at the end felt like a girl forced to kiss her dying Uncle. But overall I love what Peter was trying to do. And boy can he sing! I just wasn't invested enough in the characters to feel emotion.

    On our way out we both had to use the restroom after copious Coke Zero with popcorn. S exclaimed in surprise that a girl had just exited the boy's bathroom. I laughed and elbowed him and called him an old man. Welcome to the new world, I said. It's gender fluid. Jack teaches me this. Lucy too. Cecelia has included LGBTQ issues in her sexual health organization. We don't always get it right, but we try and make mistakes and course correct. Happy Tuesday, it's the ides of March. My cousin Tommy's birthday. I think of him often. Much love, Elizabeth

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