Monday, September 27, 2021

I'm a Walking Disaster

     So much has happened over the weekend I'm not sure where to begin. I guess the obvious place is Saturday night. Tumor board - oops that's what I was preparing for just now for the am I mean book club was fun. Natalya is going to host the next one and she sent an email last night that had me over the moon. Heart of a Dog by Mikhail Bulgakov is one of her favorite Russian authors during Soviet times. There's also a movie adaptation (after the book of course) available on YouTube. She said it has it all - political satire, science fiction, and a great history overview of post-revolutionary Russia. I just ordered the book. 

    After book club wound down relatively early S and I decided on a night swim. The music was fun, the pool was heated, the hot tub was even cozier. At some point I got out and slipped and fell hard. I decided to get back in the hot tub real quick to try to assess and mitigate the damage and I think I must have passed out a little bc when I came to sitting up everything had a halo and it was suddenly raining? No, that was blood drops dripping down my face to my chest and in the pool from where? Got a little woozy. After S got me a bandage or two and got me back up safely to bed he smartly called Alyssa. 

    My best friend from med school is one of the most analytical, intelligent stable people I know. She recently bought a lake house that looks amazing reminds me of mine - a contemporary with lots of updates utilizing the space very well to showcase the view. She's the one I decided years ago to be in charge of my kids finances and emotional parenting in the unlikely event that Rachel, Mike, and I perished early when I was still single. Head wounds bleed a lot, so they can be scarier than they really are. Lys told Stephan it needs stitches keep it moist and call me in the am I've got some friends that owe me a favor in Little Rock or you can come here.

    When I woke up at 2am my left side had excruciating pain I must have damaged a rib or at least severely strained some intercostal muscles. I was able to breathe without too much pain except on deep inspiration and exhalation and if there was a pneumothorax I would have not been doing so well so I reassured myself. S was still awake worried about concussion so I sent him for Advil and told him I was fine he needed to sleep. I haven't slept that fitfully since I broke my jaw. I called Lys at 8am and told her I wanted to come to Jonesboro. S was so relieved for her offer of help and her reassurances the night before he happily drove me. 

    It was a little rough getting out of bed and the sight of the caked up blood and bandages on my face made me so woozy I had to avoid mirrors while getting ready and lay down a bit before I cooked breakfast. On the road I had so much adrenaline and fear of stitches I was happy to be going to see Alyssa for the first time since the pandemic, despite the circumstances. She met us at her building around 11 and escorted us to a room. The first part was the saturation of the wound with water and gauze to clean it and decide how close it was to the eyelid. Luckily, it was mostly on the brow. If you had gone to urgent care or the ER, she said, I would call this a 50/50. Half of the staff would have called an ophthalmologist and half would have sewed it on their own.

    I was starting to sweat a little so she got me a fan and a cold compress. We don't keep the A/C on as high on the weekend to save air. It was plenty cold, but the circumstances. When she started the numbing medicine I got pretty woozy and had to take breaks. At one point I woke up and surprisingly S was standing near and Alyssa was bustling around with supplies and I said I think maybe I passed out? Lys said yes you did. Twice. S said it was so weird you were just sitting there with your eyes open but you were gone.

    Once I was numb though I was all in and I became the entertainer while Lys was approximating the wound and deciding the best way to place the seven sutures. She was laughing but I was most impressed with her concentration and thinking how lucky I was to have a good smelling person working so close to my nose for so long if this was some old halitosis dude I would have had to bail. We went to tour her massive downtown house renovation and took her family to lunch at a Mexican Cantina. God that was so much easier and more pleasant than Urgent Care or ED. How can we move healthcare in this direction.

    Today was a total shit show Baptist IT predictably did not successfully complete the CoPath upgrade but we did get fancy new computers and a second monitor. Result was that our old system was put on the new computers and was incapacitated - I didn't get dictation until late morning and ability to order stains online until mid afternoon. Pam fixed my internet, which wasn't working I had to google phthisis bulbi on my phone. Rick was helpful too. It's good to have tech savvy people in our company. 

    Hal told me a story that had me LOLing all the way home. He's a deer hunter and he was off last week. He was on the deer stand and a cloud of red wasps emerged from nowhere. He jumped backwards on instinct and fell off of the 15 foot stand. He landed on the roof of his ATV on his ass, which had a metal rack with some give. It bounced him onto the ground prone. Aside from a few bruises he is good as gold. I of course wouldn't be laughing if he was hurt, but damn, I wish I had been a fly on the wall. 

    Tomorrow OT is going to start calling me Dr. Klutz. The first student Bailey noticed the big bruises on me after Alanis Morissette - I had to explain that I got up to pee in the middle of the night, thought I was back home, and navigated poorly. I just finished tending to a burn on my arm from the French fry sheet in the oven a month ago - that was nasty. And with the rotator cuff and now stitches and rib injury it's getting a little ridiculous. At least the GI thing is getting better or I might throw in the towel. Happy Monday, much love, Elizabeth

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