Saturday, September 11, 2021


     I have always been a proud card-carrying member of what Rex would call The Itty Bitty Titty Club. And I've never been upset about it - I've been happy with my lot and a healthy fear of losing sensation in that area after surgical enhancement (it happens, I've queried tons of people) has kept me from going down that road, amid other reasons. 

    So imagine my surprise a few years ago to spontaneously go from a B to a C cup. I squashed into the same bras I've had for 20 years for a while and when it became unbearable I solicited Christy to come with me to get new ones at Dillard's - this was the February before the pandemic started. There was a huge sale, which was nice since good bras really cost between 50 and 80 bucks. Not chump change. We scored. I got a bunch of nice ones.

    Fast forward to a couple of months ago - my 36C's have been stretched to the limit and the underwire is currently being lifted off of my chest by my boobs - not the most comfortable way to manage your day. And last weekend a white bikini I bought before the pandemic that fit me fine in July looked horrible on my chest. I can see why adolescent girls getting boobs might get a fat complex because if you try to host them in a too small receptacle it just looks like you grew a bunch of arm fat. Not aesthetically pleasing. 

    I wandered into the lingerie section at Dillard's and a woman with a heavy Eastern European accent asked if she could help. She was smartly dressed in black and white pants with a white t and a black blazer. I told her my dilemma and said the only bra that I like is a 38C I bought two years ago. She said flatly there is no way you are a 38 you are smaller than that and I liked her so much in that moment I decided to blindly follow her advice. We measured and I was a 36 - I told her I measured as a 37 at Victoria's Secret with C within the last year. But I have been a 36 my whole life before that.

    As I was in the dressing room and she was handing me bras to try on - she had another client; a third woman walked in and said Luda?!! I want you to help me please. Many people have referred me to you they say you are the best in Little Rock. I smiled happily at the support of my gut instinct. Knowing I was in good hands. Not literally. But she has an amazing eye and a knowledge of the brands. 

    As I was trying more on I noticed the sizes were D and DD. I was confused, we had debated my girth but not my cup size. I decided it must be some UK size or Australia it didn't make sense. When she came back to look at a new one I said are these D cups? She said of course. You coulda knocked me over with a feather. But I have all C's, I told her. She shook her head and gave my chest a cold, calculated look. No. You are not a C. You are a D or a DD. LOLOL. I haven't been this big since I was nursing. Better get that mammogram I'm due for soon.

    So of course I had to shop for new bikinis and even though the bras were painfully full price the bathing suits were 65% off - that made me so happy. I texted Lucy and told her she was gonna get half a wardrobe tomorrow because there are things that have zipped up on me since the age of 16 that no longer zip and I would like nothing more for her to wear the clothes or sell them for money. She is trying to save up to move to Ventura CA (she's got a chosen family there) and model and she's 20 and plucky as hell. She has people that could bankroll her but she prefers to work multiple jobs I told her about when I held three or four at a time in my 20's trying to reach my life goals. She looks a lot like Amy Winehouse but taller and definitely unique. I told her someday when she makes it she will have to remember the doc from LR, AR who thought she was amazing before the world did. Happy Saturday, much love, Elizabeth

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