Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Rectal Foreign Objects

     I should not be writing at 3am but I cannot sleep and it seems smarter than slamming drinks, I've got ENT tumor board at 7am, so here goes.

    We are hiring two pathologists, and we have already interviewed two for one of the slots and will interview a third for the same slot next Monday. All women. I wish we could hire them all, because they all are amazing but the one today (yesterday?) grabbed me so much that I called my friend Becky at St. Vincent's and told her she had to interview this girl because my desire for her to land in a good position supersedes my desire to have her for myself. I was honest - told her what she was up against and that it wasn't entirely up to me we have to make the decision as a group based upon our needs. Selfishly I'd hire her in a heartbeat - her accomplishments include fellowships at Mayo and MD Anderson and I want to learn from her but I love the other too and Melody's good friend is coming next week - anyone Melody loves must be amazing so I'm just going to leave this one up to the Universe and hope everything works out.

    Natalya, the woman I interviewed and toured and lunched with today, is from the Ukraine, but she is a citizen here and has been here for twenty years so she counts the US as her home. She is beautiful and soft spoken and I cannot ascertain her age but she doesn't have kids and seems not to plan to but maybe I'm wrong on that I just intuit it. She loves to read and told me when she was in med school at the University of Iowa (that is a kick ass med school) there was a library with books in Russian and she would read the Russian and the English version. I told her about my mom's volunteering work in Russian orphanages and how she brought her translator Sergei over and put him through Hendrix. She marveled at how unusual of a story that was. I told her that I used to lament that Sergei (he was super cute) would never go out he studied all the time and in my youth I failed to realize the magnitude of what he was trying to accomplish. He was learning to learn in a new language and studying psychology and he didn't have the time to indulge in frivolities granted to me by my privilege. I follow him on Instagram - he's a social psychologist in CA who works for ad companies - and am happy to see he now has time to enjoy travel and fun.

    One of my best friends from residency - Kadria Sayed, is from Syria. She came to the US when her husband did ophthalmology residency and learned English by watching soap operas and retook her boards over here to qualify for a residency position. She is tall and majestically beautiful and one of five daughters she has two herself. She always pumped me up about how smart I was but I balked. I was born at the same hospital I trained at it was like intellectual incest. I was lucky to have some greats pass through but hell I didn't tackle another language. She ended up going back to Syria she was born of great privilege there and frankly wasn't treated very well here and missed that. She told me she used to have to ask her patients if they could afford/wanted her to perform immunos on their cases that shocked the hell outta me. When Syria fell apart she moved to Dubai. When she learned I was getting married she said, "Lizzie, you need to honeymoon in the Maldives and stop over in Dubai to see me." Well that didn't happen but I googled the Maldives and it seems like a good idea for the future.

    When I took Natalya to meet the gross room staff today Jessica was puzzling over something I was like what the heck is that. She said it's a rectal foreign object, we haven't quite figured out what, they seem to self manufacture things a lot. I laughed and said don't drive Natalya away I like her. A new hire who was absent today is named Savanna she is like 4'10" and when my chief Shaver met her he said, "There's a new mouse in the house!" and that's probably not very PC but hilarious my friend Laurie at 5' held the former title. Savanna is tough as nails and Jessica told me she's the new identifier of sex toys she used to work at Adam and Eve. A few weeks ago Jessica was puzzling over something submitted for gross only and Savanna strode over after watching her and said, "It goes like this. This is how it works." Like a boss.

    So Jessica is saving the RFO for Savanna to ID and I asked my doc mom book club last night if I could invite a non-mom to join when we resume post Covid and their overwhelming response was YES. There is a Christmas tree in the front yard of 18 Tallyho to add ornaments to to remember Deborah so I plan to shop at the Baptist gift shop tomorrow (today?) it is my fave place to shop on the planet. Hope you all are sleeping better than I am. Much love, E

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