I suppose I will be filling you in on more of the day sleep is eluding me.
At about 2:45 I ran to get my afternoon coffee and water and visit Sean and Avery and Kim for emotional sustenance and as I was walking back I started experiencing sharp pains in my abdomen. Damnit, I thought, I don't have time for this. I got back to my office and held my fan in my lap and blew it directly on my face and knew that there was only one thing that would work.
Melody knew I was in the weeds - I had been telling her about autopsy request doc and trying to save 33 yo dude in another town and cases had piled up and were threatening to keep me as late as on Tuesday. She had offered her help earlier but she's CP I'm AP and I'd already done all my surgicals I only had cytology left (she can't do that) but her recognition of my stress was honestly enough. It's so nice to have female partners male ones seem to avoid tough emotion.
I called Melody after I closed the door of my office and said let me take you up on that offer for help please come to my office. A couple months back she was on the verge of passing out after giving blood if I remember correctly and I ran to the gift shop to get her a Powerade she let me in so I figured we reached a new level and I can do the same. She opened the door and shut it and noticed aloud that I was on the floor and asked me if I fell or if it was on purpose. I told her I was having sharp abdominal pains it was on purpose. She said that happens to her do I need some GasX she keeps it on hand. I told her yes please I used to keep it on hand but this doesn't happen to me as often anymore and I've gotten lazy about it.
I was lying on my right side chewing the cherry flavored tablets - she adjusted the fan so it was blowing right on me - and she was wondering aloud if I was ok with cherry flavored I told her I was. Then she started talking about abdominal migraines I assured her in my experience with my body this was probably just gas even though it felt like I needed to have an appendectomy or a cholecystectomy. She told me that in med school she used to have a lot of ocular migraines. I looked up from the floor at my angel savior and said what is that I've never heard of that.
She demonstrated with her hands. It starts like a fleck. In front of your eye. I guess it always happened in my right eye. You doubt it's existence. I was really lucky to only have the visual and not the pain. Then it grows larger, like a ring, and the borders of the ring get fuzzy like electricity. At this point you cannot ignore it. If you are talking to someone, you cannot see them bc the center of the ring obscures your vision but the periphery is really weird. The ring gets bigger and bigger and eventually goes out of your peripheral vision and goes away. But the sequelae is what I always dreaded it's like postictal.
Well I've never had a seizure so I have no idea what postictal sequelae is. I wondered if it was like pre-panic attack or fugue state for me when I start tingling all over my body like electricity is happening. She said it's like you've just run a marathon you have to sleep it off so it was always exhausting to experience it knowing you are going to have to deal with the aftermath.
I thanked her for the GasX and she left. Thankfully, bc the GasX sped up the process and I started belching. And we won't speak of what else happened in my office when I finally got off the floor. My ex-husband, when we were first dating, gave me one of my favorite compliments on the planet. In the company of someone else I cannot remember he said Elizabeth doesn't fart, she blows rose petals.
And of course despite my backlog I google imaged ocular migraine and WOW. I asked Melody how long they lasted she said 20-30 minutes. They, like fugue states, are exceedingly rare. Then I hammered out my cases and when Evans texted me that Sims was sending margins - it's like crazy we have 12 to 3 o'clock 3-6 o'clock all the way around the clock we mark one edge blue and one edge green to orient it and the deep margin is black Sims came in to make sure we got the new margin (duh) and they were so long I became practiced in giving him a breakdown. Your 7:30 to 9 is full of basal cell but your 6 to 7:30 is clear send another in that area. He trained at Mayo he's super sweet expecting his first kiddo Jan 3 so hard to get frustrated at him I want to help. When we finally got the all clear I called the OR on the bat phone and we all cheered.
Well I just hugged Jack and I'm outlasting him that's a bad sign he can sleep in all day I gotta work. Hope you are sleeping better than me. Much love. E