Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Avoiding Awfultopsy on Christmas Eve

     Oh God today is like 10 blogs. Or ten days. Jessica agreed. This is like the worst Christmas call ever. I would tell it all but I need to space it out or I would be blogging all night.

    After I visited my chiropractor, Darren Beavers, for the third time in three days I got a call from Jessica. An autopsy. We are too reactive around them - they don't happen very often - and we tend to ignore them until they ruin our world. Jessica gave me the name of the doc I didn't know at a different hospital (Baptist serves like six now I think) in a different town and I was determined to divert it. I had some other shit going down - there was a thirty something year old in another town with wall to wall pneumocystis on his BAL and that was more important I was trying to get in touch with the docs there bc it was obvious on Epic they had thought of everything except AIDS. Pneumocystis is a hallmark presentation, like Kaposi's sarcoma. But you can't see it like purple birthmarks bc it is on the inside. The offices were closed and the secretaries couldn't find them so I took drastic measures to get their cell phones and relay the information to treat and turn it all around.

    In the meantime I called autopsy doc. He was super sweet and excited to the point of mania. He shared articles with me in text. I managed to get him to limit it to heart only. Thing is, he let the body go to the funeral home before he got consent so I told him he needed to get consent and he assured me his resident was on it. We had the body transferred to Baptist LR from small town. At 11 Jessica called him but four hours later she still hadn't heard from him so she called again and when he didn't have consent on paper she told him it would not work. He said he would mail the paperwork to the husband who consented to someone he knew and they would mail it to us. It doesn't work that way, she said, and he got a little belligerent and asked to talk to her boss. 

    I learned this bc Sims was doing late frozens on a scalp basal cell that had been previously removed with positive margins on Moh's. Evans is on call with me but Jessica stayed late to help bc Sims. I was like why didn't you tell me she was too busy and angry to be treated that way. I texted doc with autopsy request and said we cannot do an autopsy without consent in hand it's against the law. He texted it will be mailed to you when husband signs he agreed to it. I texted we will not break the law to do an autopsy sorry. Then he called and with his moderately Spanish accent (it was honestly lovely) and tried to talk me into doing it without consent, he said "medicine is flexible" like a Spanish surfer dude well damnit the law is not and I started getting angry and he said you are obviously stressed I'm going to go and hung up on me. Well that pissed me off even more I texted him I'm not stressed I'm angry you are pushing us. A lot of the frozens were positive and so more were sent and I was telling Evans and Jess what he said to me and Evans said I'm surprised then he didn't ask you if you were on your. I laughed period? F you asshole I haven't had one in 15 years sorry Evans that's TMI but he is nice he texted me in a group text at 5am Baptist was giving us hell about getting vaccine for our employees who are separate and we fixed that today by going to admin. So Evans has my back.

    Autopsy request doc sent me two more texts and I was so riled up and busy I didn't look at them for a half hour while I was reading the frozens. When I finally did I realized he relented. He said he will not push he will stick with the law instead of science and that he understood. I texted back thanks so much we cannot put our professional licenses on the line and subject ourselves to liability Merry Christmas. Then on the way home he asked let me try tomorrow? I said if we have a consent in hand we can do what he wants. I wanted to reprimand him for yelling at Jessica but I refrained just told him he would have to work through her she is a seasoned professional and my gross room supervisor. (hopefully he got the hint that I knew how he had treated her). The great thing is if he does get the consent prob too late for tomorrow and we don't do autopsies on Xmas or over the weekend and I'm off next week going to visit fam so autopsy avoided (but heart only is pretty sweet sad to miss that in the autopsy queue).

    I've been pretty upset bc partner Brian had third hospitalization in a month he tested positive for Covid and was hospitalized for that I was so scared I've been a little depressed. But Ginger texted today he was going home best Christmas present ever I was elated mid morning. I've got tumor board in the morning should probably wind down. Hope you are doing well. Much love, E

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