Sunday, November 22, 2020

Near Death Experiences

     One of my favorite questions that my husband asked me when we first started dating was, "I like your sunglasses. How long have you had them?" I almost LOL'd. Smart right? Like a thinly veiled "Can you keep up with your actual shit?" I appreciated this, considering my ex loses his iPhone about every other month, which is an endearing trait the kids and Rachel and I laugh about now that I'm no longer at odds with him. I proudly announced I'd kept up with them for years. We were still in the honeymoon phase  where you can't really let your guard down - it took me months to even be able to take a shit around him. Which made for a very awkward trip to New Orleans - I'd held it in for awhile so excused myself at the aquarium and was totally prepared (and inwardly triumphant) when I emerged from the bathroom and he worried, "It was taking so long." I replied, "Oh, you know women's bathrooms. The line was eternal."

    S and I spent a few summers vacationing at a dude ranch with the kids. One year I wanted to go white water rafting while the kids were at their day camp, it was a blast. So much so that Cecelia wanted to do it with me the next year. Since S had already done it and Jack and boats don't get along - he can't even watch a 3D movie without getting a massive headache - C and I embarked alone on the three hour journey to the raft site one day. It was the same tour and frankly not really scary at all there are hardly any rapids but a lot of great scenery and the guide was a grizzly old guy with campy jokes. The spotter in the back was a PA who did this on her off days. If I recall C and I were the only other ones on the boat. 

    I was enjoying the day - it was cold so we were in layers. It was June in Colorado so glacier melt was still happening there was no getting in the water for a swim but we enjoyed a light lunch on the bank and stopped to see an actual dinosaur footprint. I could tell C was a little disappointed - she was only 12 but already had a thrill seeking nature and expected more. So when we hit a fun rapid the guide announced that he could turn around and do it again. As he was doing a 180 I fell from the boat and plunged into the icy cold waters. I apologize if I've told this one before but it came up in therapy this week so clearly it needs more processing hopefully with new twists and turns. 

    I emerged under the boat in shock from the cold and thinking I needed to get out from under the boat that was my single minded goal. I struggled for what was probably only a minute or two but it felt like an eternity. The guide pulled me from the water by my jacket back onto the boat and once he ascertained I wasn't in any health risk he ripped the spotter a new one. I shivered in adrenaline rush and thrill for just being alive. He got me in some semi dry clothes and towels and thirty minutes later the trip concluded. My single regret was that I lost the lens of one side of my sunglasses.

    My glasses are covered by my health insurance. So while I thrift shop and sale shop all the time for clothes I luxuriate in glasses. My current readers are Tom Fords and those sunglasses were Versace. S and I researched on the computer back at the cabin to see if we could find a replacement for the lens but they were out of rotation. I lamented and said "Let's just throw them away I'll get new ones."

    I needed reader sunglasses by then anyway so I got some cute Tiffany & Co. ones I've had ever since. S and I were conversing a few months later and he confessed that he couldn't bear to throw them away so he went on a hike we had already done where he remembered there was a hole in a tree trunk and put them there. So I like to think of them buried, like in a vault, up in Colorado where I spent all that time teaching my kids to enjoy nature and horses (them anyway horses scare the shit out of me) and hikes and gourmet food.

    Looking forward to breakfast, speaking of food. Hope you are having a lazy happy Sunday. Much love, E

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