Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Happy Earth Day! And Humpday!

Since I'm finding it tough to sleep at night, I've been getting busy. Cataloguing music. I've got a fairly large archive, and lost all of my lists during some platform change I don't really understand. I was making the lists because Jack told me yesterday that Cecelia makes the best lists. I have to show him  that I do. I told her that. It is now a challenge. I vow to win. I also chain drank about eight Ozarka waters last night. Lots of time in the bathroom. Breakfast at 4 am - smoked gouda and egg on toast drizzled with honey, red pepper, and salt. I walked into the dr. lounge at 6:45 am - my meeting was right by the lounge and I was 15 minutes early. It was nice to see what they were doing with social distancing. Tables set apart, no one at the same table. There were four middle to upper aged white male physicians in the room. They were animatedly discussing our brand new coffee machine. Kidding.

I only recognized one - Bob Searcy, a pulmonologist. He asked after my dad. I sat down listening to them talk about Covid. Bob talked the most. "I can't believe what they are doing in Georgia. And Texas!" Another masked Dr. scolded the Texas governor. "He's anti-abortion but he wants to open Texas!" Hah. The irony.

At the beginning of the meeting there were technical issues, so I went back to the Dr. Lounge to get more eggs, my stomach was growling. Bob chaired the meeting, and my good buddy Ken the radiologist sat next to me with a mask. The lab director, Greg, remarked on how well my mask matched my clothing. "I planned it that way, lol. My friend Christy's mom made it, it's an N95, and she gave me two. Isn't it amazing? I got to pick the fabric, and Christy and her best friend Kim independently chose the same pattern as me." Like minds think alike.

After the meeting I went to the micro huddle.  But first I learned from a piece of pink notebook paper that had cryptic numbers on it. I took a picture to remember. I looked at Amy questioningly. "That means we have done 365 tests, and 20 are positive. But it's not entirely accurate, because it turns out scrolling through the data that someone has tested the same patient three times. I was alarmed. "What? Who is the idiot that did that? That's a waste of text kits!" She shook her head and agreed. We all crowded into the small lab space, tucked into the nooks and crannies. I listened to Amy, the director, read the news.

It turns out that this is Lab Week, I didn't realize in all the craziness. The admin are finally thanking the lab effusively, in like five paragraphs, Amy almost lost her breath at one point. One of the techs rolled his eyes. "It takes a pandemic for the lab to get recognized." We all laughed.

After huddle I went into the transcription room. Our head transcriptionist, Tina, looked surprised to see me. "You are supposed to be off today. What are you doing here?" With my old worldview, I would have questioned my stupidity, but today I was certain that I looked at the schedule last Friday and saw I was coming back Wednesday. "It must have changed, and I didn't know, but no worries". I checked in with Laurie in the gross room, and gave her the other mask, she was so excited. "That is an amazing mask!!! I love it thank you so much." I showed her how to remove the filter and wash it.

Then I went home and went straight to the bedroom. Locked the door - my kids are at home and I can't remember ever it being mid-morning and them being at home and me napping - I don't want to be interrupted. Dressed down (not all the way!).  What happened next was indescribable. Finally a nap, a long one. I think I was in bed for an hour and fifteen minutes, and only the last half hour was the nap part. I was distracted by my thoughts for a while. I really only slept about five minutes. But overall, I'm getting better at this napping thing. Yesterday, alas, was a failed attempt. One that sent me to my friend Christy on where to get reading material on the internet to boost my napping skills. Three things should arrive in the next day or two, I cannot wait.

I dreamed during the sleep part. It was a really weird dream, but first I thought of my husband and how much he means to me (he literally turned me upside down and made me rain upward). I am only just now seeing how much reading this latest book a second time. Every freaking sentence makes me laugh with memories. Ack. Why did I have to throw that magazine away. Then I dreamt I was sick. I was dry heaving into a little plastic bin. Sand started coming out and swirling around. Was that really sand coming out of my mouth? Then my body hurt so bad, like all of the hurts I have ever had were being done to me again, but thankfully it was just these weird pinpricks everywhere hitting me randomly I could not predict a pattern. Then, only images. I simultaneously saw and breathed out a beautiful swirl of black smoke - it seemed to last forever. Anime heads - Jack likes anime. Then, a figure in a dark cloak. What did this all mean? If I thought too hard on it might drive me mad, so I got up to run. I've been doing short bursts of speed with my fast walking, as I'm getting stronger. I'm finally running in the right direction.

I was freaking ravenous so first I ate. More meatballs, some of Jack's gluten bread, and some pesto hummus I made from Trader's Joe - that's what my husband's mom calls it, she is from Germany, and it is an endearing colloquialism. We are all using the term now. It's nice to eat comfort food from your family. And to listen to them. Family is important. They need each other. They are teachers, and mentors to each other. No one is in control, just when you think you are you get very humbled, as I was today. The game of life is a fun challenge, and even when it takes its twists and turns, I'm still glad I am along for the ride. Sometimes driver, sometimes passenger, I cannot predict. It remains a mystery I will continue to try to solve. Much love, E

P.S. Secrets are only secrets if they are coveted - I was reminded of that by Jack in a conversation today. So before I wrote this book I took a group I'd been using to learn my religion from the back corner of the closet to loudly display on my upstairs bookshelf, for anyone to read, and for me to admire daily. Luckily I have five black sections. Great teachers. Shirley Jackson, "Hangsaman," Rilke, "Letters to a Young Poet," Joe Hill, "20th Century Ghosts," it is a dear one to me - I recently caught up with all his other works last fall. Sedaris, "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk." Kaur, "milk and honey." See they are in good company. Unfortunately, they have been pared down a bit, something I will have to remedy soon.

I got a funny cartoon you would enjoy from the micro lab but I'm too tired to remember how to post pics - I know about airdrop but haven't figured it out if it even applies here. But that can wait. Much love again, lol, E

No comments: