Ok this is important. I'm going to get serious for a moment, then I will go back to entertaining.
So as crazy as Elizabeth cubed was, she had wrapped her head around something new, something important. Elizabeth Negative shoved her so down deep she was drowning for air. Threw away all her research. That's ok, we can take it from here. But I need you to pay attention to what she was up to. I can't imagine anyone following her - she was kind of like a bad trip. Not that I've ever tripped, but I supported those who have and it wasn't pretty.
I cannot adequately explain how wonderful it is to be here now. Just being myself. Not being here trying to impress. Not being scared. Feeling safe. The words finally flow. They come to me during the day, like a whisper or a promise. Delivered from the angels. It's nice - it's effortless.
Elizabeth cubed was onto something, like white on rice. I have been an atheist for most of my life. I have supported my kids in their own faith journeys - even plugged into a Methodist church for them. They wanted to be like their friends. Despite my hindrances, I supported that. I could see that Methodism provided a comfort to them. And it wasn't like they were worshipping the devil or swirling in snakes. They were just trying out something new, flexing their faith muscles. I've had an interesting faith journey, so I understand.
When I was in college at Hendrix, I took a world religion class. I was most drawn to Wiccan religion, and Zen Buddhism. It was fun to read about, and learn from. But life experiences drove all that into the ground. As life goes on, things you drive into the ground resurface naturally, whether you want them to or not.
This is a blog, not a super fancy research project, so I can wax eloquent here. It's not like I'm turning it in for a grade. So I'm just going to lay out what Elizabeth cubed learned.
I now believe in reincarnation. We come to this life in soul age. There are many different soul ages - look around you can see and determine them yourself. New souls are like toddlers - they compare and fight and try to impress. They are like the little kids on the playground fighting for that freaking ball. This realization brought me a long way in tolerance. I can now support and love all of the people in my life. They don't mean harm - they are just working with what they've got, doing the best they can.
There are wise, old souls too. They don't have to be born into any certain religion. They can be born into Christianity, not even believing in reincarnation. They are masters. They aren't showy, they don't try to impress, but you can find them on google. They impart something important on the world. They do great things. They harness the energy of the universe to import good deeds.
There is something they have in common. They have a lot of raw intelligence, and a lot of emotional intelligence. As an aside, they also have great physical beauty that defies their age. They form strong connections to animals. They have a lot of trials and tribulations throughout their lives, but when they attain emotional maturity they shine. And they have a purpose. They are planted here to harness universal energy for a greater good.
There are couples that are planted on this Earth for a reason. You could google them - Elizabeth cubed could give you lots of examples, she did a lot of research, but she's gone. They often live in obscurity - they are not household names, but they do great things, especially in times of upheaval. They live long lives, and they urge each other on, often from afar, in order to achieve a greater goal. Their kindness and emotional intelligence are all important, but it's mostly their love that does it. It's a strong love.
So this new belief system I'm developing is informed by a lot of sources. Wiccan, Paganism, astrology (thanks Mom!), Zen Buddhism. Native American. Notice that it's drawn to religions that are female centered, and religions that are focused on the Earth and the animals and the plants.
This new religion is also informed by storytelling. I am not a master in this area, but I can see the hero's arc, and can apply it to my own life. It helps me out when my kids are in trouble. I realize that they have to go through their own shit in order to achieve their purpose. I am their guide, but I cannot control the storyline.
So this is a work in progress. Elizabeth cubed, crazy as she was, with her happiness and her 50 pound weight gain, was onto something. It is a comfort to me. I will welcome my deathbed, knowing that when I am vaulted into a new life, despite its trials and tribulations, I will encounter the same individuals in this life who are important to me in a new way, shape, or form. So we will truly be together until the end of time.
P.S. I got that book in the mail!! Earlier than Amazon promised. It's like that meme - I'm so excited. Got all day to read it on my back deck. I hope the weather is willing. I haven't checked.