Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What A Difference A Year Makes

Today is the one year anniversary of my official divorce. Not that I was looking forward to it - just realized it when I wrote the date down at work this morning. Put me in a reflective mood.

My mental health - so tenuous last year - is infinitely stronger. For that, I am grateful.

Kids are doing so well. Transition to new school was stressful for me, but went wonderfully for them. I went to parent-teacher conferences this morning. All praise.

Ce-silly's teacher was over the moon about my daughter. Her husband, a guy that works in film, hearing about her and seeing her pose in school pics, thinks she will be a famous actress. Her teacher told him, "You can't have her yet, she's mine for now." She is doing well in her studies - so much more confident in math and advancing in her small groups. Her teacher is impressed with her outgoing behavior and her lack of issues around the divorce - teacher is a product herself, so has much to compare with. "Your getting along with your ex is really good for your kids. We had a project in class one day, where we talked about our community. The children were supposed to describe their community on a post-it. Ce-silly raised her hand, and asked for two post-its - one for her mom's house and one for her dad's house. No shame at all. It was very touching." She also mentioned that Ce-silly is a great writer - conveys her thoughts very well on paper. I think my love for reading has been passed along and the writing is a nice by-product.

Jack's teacher was similarly impressed with his behavior and studies. I worry more about Jack - he is much younger and still in magical thinking mode, around his reality/environment. When we were moving last year, same week as divorce, he asked if his dad was moving back in with us. One day on the kitchen sink - he was helping me cook - he asked if I was going to divorce him. My heart shattered, but I picked it up. "That doesn't happen, Jack. Parents don't divorce their kids. Dad and I both love you tons, and you will always be our son." He seemed reassured, and I was happy to hear his teacher compliment us today in creating a kindergartner who has "obviously been read to. He is wise in his surroundings, in a way that so many his age are not. He's going to do very well, already is."

I'm better, they are better. Their happiness and success is daily validation that the right decision was made. Mine, too. A very old cliche, but true. What a difference a year makes.


rlbates said...

So glad to hear how (and know) much better you all are now than a year ago. :)

Kyla said...

I'm so glad you are all doing so well! It is always nice to hear people brag on our kiddos! It seems that most parents hate yearly ARD meetings (for special education purposes), but I love them because they end up being a big old KayTar brag-a-thon. We do also talk about her struggles, but the good always outweighs the difficult.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Thanks Ramona!

Great to hear, Kyla. Yes, we love to brag on our kids, extensions of ourselves, so similar, but so different.

Ginger said...

Happy Anniversary!!! *Cheers*