Thursday, January 13, 2011

Moving On

Life is so weird.

It takes you on all these incredible tangents - highs and lows. Ups and downs.

I'm coming to the conclusion that certain things happen for a reason. Connections, real or imaginary, are made just to pull you out of your miserable status quo. And maybe that's the reason? For the connection? To drag you out of your stupor, make you face your own demons and conquer them so you can move on. Attention is a powerful motivator, especially when you aren't getting any.

But at some point, I've got to stop Waiting for Godot. It gets a little ridiculous. I'm relatively young, and single, and the ex has been dating for months, so I suppose it's time for me to take the plunge.

But how? My sis tells me I need to get professional photos taken and join a computer dating website. I can't tell you how much the idea of this fills me with nausea. E-harmony? Blech. My stylist told me today about a website that advertises to married couples, claiming confidentiality and promising a marital tryst ("To restore and revitalize your own marriage!") within six months or your money back. It's real. She investigated it. Sounds pretty disgusting to me.

I'm planning a trip to the Big Island of Hawaii next month - good reason to shed those holiday pounds (that I really didn't gain) and stay on the treadmill. So I look good. For myself, right? My friend Trish tells me I need to find a Hot Hawaiian Surfer Dude and have a fling. I'm not really sure how to do that. Another friend encouraged me to have a tryst with a cabana boy. While I have a vague idea of what a cabana boy is, I wanted specifics, so I googled it. Wikipedia says this,

A cabana boy is a male attendant (boy in this sense) performing 'personal services' to the guests of a hotel or a large private estate, operating from a nearby cabaƱa (American Spanish for cabin; compare cabin boy), notably on a beach. A pool boy performs the same duties at a swimming pool. Cabana boys are typically viewed as scantily clad attractive young men who cater to their clients' every whim.

Sounds pretty good, right? If they really exist. I've been doing more research on green sand beaches and underground volcanoes than cabana boys, but I guess if one comes along, I might be game. My own little week long Eat, Pray, Love - no wait, I hated that book - more like Drink, Play, F$#&. I'm not sure how these guys writing the books can swing three months and stay gainfully employed. I'm going to have to cram it all into one week.

Last fall after the divorce, to my own personal surprise, the old self-esteem sank to guttural levels. Not that it really ever wanders far from the gutter, but I had a glimmer of hope. Which was dashed.

The New Year brings it back. As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds. I am happy on my own, and am dying for something new, but also dreading complications that it might bring. So maybe I'll just hang out here for a while and see what happens. Here's hoping that a heavily tattooed, singularly empathic guy materializes (No I don't, Yes I do have one in mind). I could use a little company, right about now.


rlbates said...

Don't rush it, but by all means remember to have "safe sex" when the time comes. :)

The Mother said...

When hubby and I are fighting, I always force myself to think about what trying to date again would be like.

And then the fight is over.

Anonymous said...

I went with a small, local dating service catering to professionals. Everyone is screened, in person. No pressure to meet; no phone numbers, addresses, or last names given without mutual permission. Not cheap, but worthwhile. Sounds more your style.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Ramona - Can't be any safer than lately.

The Mother - I'm still thinking about it. It still nauseates me.

Anon - Interesting. Whenever I think of entering a dating service, it makes me push back the idea of dating a month or two. Like now. Thanks for the suggestion. Maybe later.

Ginger said...

Weeelll, I AM heavily tattooed and loads of fun, but I'm missing the proper appendage to really suit your needs.... *sigh*

LOL@Ramona! TRUE! I had to have that talk with my ex-step-mom when she started dating again. Good thing I did, too, because she was only thinking how she DIDN'T need to worry about BC anymore.

Giz, If you are REALLY not ready, don't let anybody push you.

Though, personally, I think you should forgo dating for a while and just have a fun tryst! You need something string free and fully about you. CABANA BOY!!!! OOooh or hot sexy Dr at your CME site!!! PERFECT! You'll never have to see him again. It could be ALL about fun! BE Daring. Celebrate and embrace your new found freedom, your inner sex kitten/tramp/vixen/hot nerd chick... whathaveyou! It's OK, and you more than deserve it!

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Have you ever been to a pathology conference? Hot sexy doctors are tough to come by. It is not a very sexy field. But maybe a cabana boy . . . if he's got lots of tattoos.

Kyla said...

I've never "dated" since Josh and I met in junior high and got married when I was 17...the thought of it is highly stressful! Though, I'm sure it has its own charms...discovering those connections and all. Good luck and don't rush yourself, just let this next stage unfold naturally.

Anonymous said...

I got divorced about 13 years ago and remember very clearly the fear of being alone the rest of my life. Then I decided to totally ignore all the pressures and live my life the way I wanted to -- travelling, running, doing a job I enjoyed. It was the best thing ever! I didn't want or need a date -- and that's exactly when they started to appear. ;-> Married one of them.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Thanks, anon. I was kind of in a bad place when I wrote this post last week - seems a little embarrassing right now, but oh well. Am much better right now - was planning adventures today when I head to Hawaii next month for a CME trip and it got me excited. About adventuring on my own. Good sign, right? Not leaving much room for hot surfers or cabana boys, but how can that beat lava flows into the ocean or internationally renowned observatories? You are right, being at peace with being alone is much more important than jumping into something crazy for the wrong reasons. Fear is scary as hell, but it can be a good thing.