Friday, October 8, 2010


I've never been a big fan of Nine Inch Nails.

But my amazingly musical friend, the one who makes incredible mixes - Laurie, is.

So she peppers my mixes with their songs, most of which I skip.

She went to see them in Dallas a couple of years ago, and was delighted to see Trent Reznor in her hotel corridor. I'm not sure I would even recognize him, if I saw him.

A few months ago, I was listening to one of her mixes, and I happened across a song. I forgot to skip. I listened to the words, and found myself empathizing.

I've been playing it a lot lately - in my car on the way to Conway, and on the way to the main hospital after I drop my kids off. Because there is nothing like music that can drive a wedge into a feeling that you wonder if you ever really had in the first place. After a certain period of time, it starts working.

Then there's Fiona. Sweet, savvy, smart, and scathing. Her words place a sharp boundary between the past and the present.

Not many have said it better.

Now I find myself exactly where I should be, albeit somewhere I never would have dreamed. A single mother, primary custodian for two beautiful children. Slowly coming to realize that this place, although not easy, is the perfect place for me.


The Mother said...

My Goth tries to make me listen to screamo. "Just listen to the words!"

Uh, right. Maybe if you gave them to me in print?

He eyerolls. I get to save my eardrums.

Kyla said...

I'm glad you're finding yourself at peace in your new stage of life.

I haven't heard that Fiona Apple song in AGES!

Ginger said...

I have never met a generational peer who did not LOVE NIN! My late teens and early 20's could not have been the same if it weren't for NIN playing in the background.

What did you listen to back in the day???

Gizabeth Shyder said...

I am 5 years older than you, remember? I'm ancient. I was a child of the grunge era. When they started screaming, I stopped listening.