Saturday, May 22, 2010

Texts From Last Night

Work has been wonderfully busy and challenging lately, so although I miss the hell out of my kids, it is nice to have a kid-free weekend to hang out with girlfriends and get some things done from my personal to-do list, which is ever so long when you are going through a divorce.

Last night, I went to Conway to a lab tech get-together at a fabulous Mexican restaurant with my friend Laurie. We sat at the calm end of the long group of pushed-together tables - the one where the older people were nursing sweet tea and Negro Modelo's (sp?), not the crazy end of the tables - where the youngsters were already on their third pitcher of margaritas (I hate margaritas - too sweet) by the time Laurie and I showed up at 6:30. Still, it was fun to put names to Conway faces, and I particularly enjoyed talking to the husband of a lab assistant who is a SAHD (Stay at Home Dad) of young kids and described his charity mission effort in detail while I listened hungrily.

"I went to Nepal, in my former life as a pastor, and stayed at a church that doubled as an orphanage for kids. The experience changed my life. I've been working ever since on how to give back to them. I worked hard to learn how to make the curry that I enjoyed so much while I was there, and now Stoby's (a popular restaurant in Conway) donates their kitchen to me and some other folks one night a week. We batch cook curry based on online orders made during the week and deliver it all over town the next day. All of the proceeds go to those kids in Nepal. I found a woman in town who knows about importing tea, and my next project is to try to market the smoky-flavored tea I fell in love with when I was over there, to try to get more money to those kids."

His wife is a lab assistant at the hospital. She must make a minute fraction of what I do. I felt humbled by his description of their life and existence.

Laurie and I made it back to my house by 8:30, and we YouTubed Glee songs until well past 11:00 p.m. I am officially addicted, even though I've never seen the show. Yes, I can YouTube in my house - but it only works in the kitchen when Laurie is present. I told her I'd pay her to move in with me.

This morning, I spent a delightful two hours with my stylist. She did my hair, we processed our lives, made plans to get the kids together next weekend. She shared a text that her best friend sent to her the night before. I tried to memorize it - I haven't laughed so hard in ages. I know I won't do it justice, but I'll try. I'll start with her friend.

"Dude, my guy just woke up, walked in the nursery, stretched his arms over his head, and pissed all over the crib. What a fucking mess!"

"LOL. Was he drunk?"

"I HOPE so! When I tapped him on the shoulder and told him that wasn't the toilet, he just kept on going."

"I use enjoy products."

I looked up. "Deeds? What the hell does that mean?"

"Oh, she had asked me earlier about some hair products."

Back to the text.

"I am trying to clean it up now with his boxers. The pink walls, the crib, the carpet - everything is soaked in urine. It stinks like hell."

I looked at the time on the text, and was surprised it wasn't 2:00 a.m. Nope, only 9:30. I remarked to my stylist. She said, "That's West Coast time! It was only 7:30!"

I shook my head and tried to stop laughing. "That is insane. I've heard of some crazy sleepwalking antics, but that takes the cake."

"I know, can you believe it? I posted it on 'Texts From Last Night.'

I didn't even know about that website.

Despite my long list of things to do, I managed to squeeze in some pool time with Mom today and enjoyed a lovely dinner with Laurie and Padma, a nighttime histotech, at P.F. Changs. Padma was obviously a regular - all the hot waiters knew her and hovered around our table in between her telling stories about growing up on a remote island in India. People lead amazing lives, and it is nice to get away from a work environment to observe them open up and glow. Attracting male attention is the last thing on the planet that Padma would want to do, so it was fun to tease her about it. She said she'd never been on a date, despite the fact that she is my age - although she looks much younger - and Laurie and I resolved to try to double sometime to break her in if we ever find a guy (oops - her situation is looking futile).

Needed a relaxing weekend. Glad it happened. Hope to continue tomorrow, before things kick back into high gear on Monday.


Ginger said...

I think perhaps YOU are MY escapist fantasy... I love hearing about your nights out. I never have any *sobbing*. You need to start drinking for me.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Well, if you weren't so happily married, my friend, you might have hope.

Actually, your kids are still pretty young. I never went out for four years. Now I get every other weekend. It's this strange roller coaster of emotion - missing kids/feeling guilty and enjoying yourself. I hope it stabilizes once the divorce is over/house sold/we get settled. Hopefully by the end of the summer.

If I start drinking for you, too, my liver's really gonna be in big trouble.