Tuesday, May 4, 2010


My house. If anyone has ever seen it, you wouldn't recognize it. It has been transformed into a showcase, over the last week and a half. Everything, from the corners of the closets - to the display cases in the kitchen - to the eaves in the attic - is so eye-poppingly, artistically amazing that all I can do is wander around in a daze from room to room. Thanks Eric, you and your four (or five? I lost track) helpers are incredible!

My toes. I got a new color. Shiny turquoise blue. I might get stuck on it all summer. I was going to go with a metallic, but got inspired by the girl next to me with luscious, chocolate brown skin, who was doing a purple-y fuchsia. She said, "Girl, your skin is gorgeous. You need color." We had a fun time picking one out. When she went to pay, she apologized to the pedicurist for all of her ones. "I told my man I was gonna look like a stripper, paying with all of these ones!" I replied, "Well, at least he gave them to you, and not a stripper." She looked me in the eyes and smiled. "That was a good one."

My body. I got a 90 minute massage yesterday, by my favorite masseuse, Connie. I told my decorator it's like she's thinking about sex the whole time she is massaging you (or was that me?). She applies a nice, medium to deep pressure - broad pressure, not a pointy one, and takes me to this place I've never been before. Sometimes I don't get there, but this time I did, toward the end. It's this peaceful feeling with an amazing light show behind my eyes - all rolling deep purple clouds/smoke on an ink-black background - who needs religion? Illegal drugs? Fasting? I've got Connie.

This week, I was worried I might not reach that massage nirvana, because I was so loaded up on coffee for working out, getting the kids to school, and grocery shopping (so much easier Mon. a.m.!) before my 9 a.m. appt. My head kept bouncing around thinking about random things and I eventually cracked myself up imagining places for a first date (I'm going to be dating again soon!). Here's what I came up with:

1) A seedy motel.

2) The woods (bring blankets). Then I worried - it's tick season. Then I remembered Off, and decided the application could become a fun activity.

3) The back seat of a car.

4) Mom and dad's basement. This might not work as well as it did 20 years ago, but I smiled remembering my first boyfriend luring me over to his house to tutor him (was it physics? I can't remember).

See, I'm a cheap date.

Uh oh. Head shake. Gotta go get the kids.

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