Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I Need A Plan

I'm a Leo (haven't I said that already?).

Here's the upside:

Generous and warmhearted
Creative and enthusiastic
Broad-minded and expansive
Faithful and loving

Here's the downside:

Needy control freak

I think if I had a DSM IV diagnosis (last I checked we were on IV, maybe we are on V or VI now, I wouldn't know), it would be hypomania. Yes, sometimes I sink into a bit of melancholy (read: depression, paranoia, insecurity), but even at my low points I am massively over-productive.

How I compensate:

I make lists. Here is an example of one I have going right now, in my office on my personalized M.D. pathologist tablet (it's rather fancy).

- Get gift for Mike's cousin Maggie's new baby Charlotte (ordered that today from my fave baby site - RetroBaby).
- Get overdue lawyer retainer from joint savings account - the one I lost the password to.
- Call realtor to sell house.
- Start taxes that were extended.
- Plan summer camps for Sicily.
- Send encouragement note to Mike's Uncle Bill, a long time blog follower who I have never personally met - he is fighting cancer (Go Bill!!!).
- Call lawn care to take care of weeds on side yard near street.
- Send text to Mike to initiate deck refurbishing/gutter cleaning.
- Plan dinner with sis-in-law Annie - haven't seen her in weeks.
- Clean out kid's rooms this weekend when they are on a camping/canoeing trip with their dad.
- Schedule massage for this weekend.
- Fill over-empty (anxiety-inducing) food drawer at work.
- Celebrate National Laboratory Week (started today with an amazing brunch - can't wait for the massive luncheon on Thursday).
- Listen to Les Claypool projects over and over in preparation for concert on Sat.
- Finish filling out medicare forms on old cases - filing or writing off charges based on my assessment of what I ordered and it's necessity on the case (health care reform starting to hit home).
- Get gift for one of C's best friend's b-day parties this week to give to Mike for drop-off/pick-up.
- Finish long overdue, much tapered-down office project with decorator to ready the house for sale.
- Get check to piano teacher.
- Sign reading forms/permission slips.
- Make lunches.
- Oh yeah, day job.

Are you bored, yet? There is much more, but I think those highlights reflect my reality.

Maybe the unknown is good for me, in some sick sense. Right now, it feels like emotional torture.


rlbates said...

Hang in there, my fellow Leo.

Ginger said...

I love lists! I'm a bit envious of your fancy letterhead though... I think I will add "Design personal letterhead" to my to-do list!

I think you need to add "breathe" to your list, and perhaps a nice glass of wine (or whatever your preferred vice may be). Or, better yet, find something big and heavy that you can destroy and just go to town on! (nods) Garage sales are perfect for finding these types of necessary items if you don't have something old and disposable sitting around. Just throwing that out there =o)

BTW, still on DSM-IV but V is in the works!

Gizabeth Shyder said...

I didn't know you were a Leo too, Ramona! That's awesome.

I'm having one of those rare slow days that comes along once in a blue moon, so I am knocking things off that list and getting in a little bit of a better head space, today. Night time is worse, for me.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Escape fantasy, you just gave me a great idea. There's a massive outdoor stone urn filled with dirt in my carport in back. I noticed sadly the other day that a giant triangular chunk had fallen out of it and there is a big crack down the side.

I think I'll have at it Friday night, with a sledgehammer, after a couple of glasses of wine. It might be tough to explain when I am touring the realtor on Sat. morning, but I'll think of something.

Glad I'm not yet outdated on the Psych Bible.

Kyla said...

Yes, it is a Leo thing. When my life gets stressful (get? who am I kidding? LOL) my blog posts turn into lists because it seems to be the base function of my brain. Also, I like getting to check things off, even the small things seem like an accomplishment then!

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Yes checking things off is so satisfying. Kind of like picking a scab when you were little.