Saturday, February 20, 2010

Medical Terminology

Sometimes, you think you've heard it all. Then you follow your medical blogs, during a lunch break or waiting for immunos, and you delight in adding new terms to your current repertoire.

This week I learned two new ones:

Uniboob: I have heard of the unibrow. But uniboob? Dr. Bates, over at Suture For a Living (remember, I can't figure out how to link on this computer, so click to the right if you are curious about more details) reviewed the symptoms that lead to symmastia. Apparently, if you have a certain kind of breast enhancement, one that either sits under the pectorals or is just too ambitious for your chest size, you are in danger of the uniboob. The bilateral, surgically implanted "falsies" migrate together at the center of your chest and create an otherworldly effect. A more caudal version of the cyclops.

Vaso-Bagel: Swallowing syncope. The Happy Hospitalist had his first case of this, this week. It occurs when the simple act of swallowing liquids, or large boluses of food (bagel!) elicits a vasovagal response that induces fainting. I've passed out to the sight of my own blood, the crunch of a bone marrow biopsy, and to the pain of having my teeth pulled. But never, thus far, thank goodness, during the act of swallowing.

Consider yourself educated, this Saturday night. Rest peacefully. Swallow carefully. And don't overestimate your body's capability for large breast implants.

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