Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Gross Room

3:30 pm.

Me: I told him that I was 80% sure it was parathyroid. He's sending more. Guess I'll wait. He gives me less than the brain surgeons! What does he expect - Sorcery? Witchcraft?

Jessica: I'll freeze it. Hey, did you ever hear anything back from that neurosurgeon that did the Sunday elective? Is he still doing that?

Me: No! We've got admin backup. But I don't think I need it. Strange, I've never met him, he's been here 1.5 years, but I've seen him four times in the last few weeks. First time, in the front hallway, he studiously ignored my attempt at eye contact. Second time was in the parking garage stairwell. I said, "Good morning!" and he replied kindly. A couple of days later I saw him in the doctor's lounge, and he said hello to me. He must have checked my creds and run the situation by with other doc's and realized I wasn't just messing with him. We really, not just us, also OR, are not prepared for Sunday electives.

Jessica: Great! I know right? It's not like this is UAMS.

Me: Right! We are civilized here. We don't respond to crazy egos wanting frozens in the middle of the night. Cardiothoracic surgeons cannot have sex in the stairwell with their nurses. Chairmans cannot screw their business admins in the wee morning hours and get caught by janitors, only to be the butt of every joke on campus except from those in power protecting their bad behavior. We don't bring that stuff to work. We don't do elective surgeries on Sunday. That's family day. (Well, there was the incident with the sink being ripped from the wall, but we all talked and laughed about that, we didn't just brush it under the rug as normalcy.)

Evans (ponytailed motorcycle head of gross room - well, not head anymore, I took over last week as the lead pathologist over the gross room and my first move was to make it a triumvirate with Jessica and Laurie. Everyone is happier. I told them not to fight about who gets to be Julius Caesar, or Pompey, or that other one Crassus that no one remembers, just divvy up the duties to their satisfaction): It didn't used to be that way.

Me: Really? Nefarious things in the past? Do tell.

Evans: Certain people forgot to lock the doors when they were doing things they shouldn't at work. That didn't last long. They got exposed.

Me: Good. That shouldn't happen here. In my experience, when crazy stuff flares, it gets quieted by the reasonable members of our hospital. I hope they keep it that way.

Jessica: Weren't you wearing something different when I saw you this morning?

Me: Yes, I went home and changed. Forgot it was our head cytotech's family member's funeral today and I really wanted to attend, and not look like I was going to a dance party. It was at St. Mark's on 12th street.

It was amazing. He was incredible. Largest and possibly best funeral service I ever attended. Glowing tributes from best friend and brother. Beautiful sermon. Live music so good I got goose bumps. I sat next to the youngest daughter's best friend. I watched her eyes well up, and told her she was so strong and supportive to be here for her friend, who will be needing her. She smiled. I was glad, as I headed back to work, that I didn't know what an amazing good person he was when I did the post last week. I would have been incredibly intimidated, and probably screwed something up. The service made me want to book a flight to Mayo to make sure everything we needed was done right.

Jessica: Here's the other frozen.

Me: It's smaller than the other one. It's just fat, adipose tissue. I'll call and tell him.

Jessica: Is he sending another?

Me: He didn't say, so I'm going to bet no and head back to my work. Thanks a bunch.

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