I called Dr. Woods on the intercom.
Me: So I have this specimen full of hemorrhage: kidney and most of the colon and small bowel. Requisition says gunshot. I open the EMR for the clinical, thinking I would be seeing some street war story. Instead, this 40 something year old guy was taking sleeping pills, and shot himself in the abdomen. He doesn't remember, but it was self-inflicted. Apparently the wife was taking sleeping pills too, and doesn't remember anything either.
Dr. Woods: I think they were taking more than sleeping pills.
Me: Doesn't the story seem fishy to you?
Dr. Woods: It certainly could have been the wife.
Me: So was it a cover up? Would she have shot him and convinced him in his compromised state that he did it to himself? Was he defending her? Or was she pulling the wool over his eyes?
Dr. Woods: It was most certainly the wife. The wives are always fiendish.
Me: Fiendish wives almost always have a reason for their behavior.