Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Reading in Reverse

Something funny happened today.

Have you ever walked into a lecture mid-way through and have been a little confused? Like, damn I wish I had seen the beginning so I could understand what the hell he/she is talking about. But you are a trooper, a hard worker; you puzzle and struggle through it anyway and it is rewarding nonetheless.

The book I finished yesterday felt like that. So imagine my surprise when I opened a new book today and discovered the same characters! A prequel. Relieving and comical at the same time. "Now I get to learn what I should have known all along. All the inside jokes." By the way that was a helluva good book. Caught a few typos though. Maybe I was an editor in my previous life.

You have to take your shoes off. Feet grounded to the Earth. Trust yourself. Don't be in a hurry; you have plenty of time. Let me look at you, OH! You are a . . . "

I was going to the bathroom today, sitting on the toilet, and something sticking out of the tampon dispenser distracted me. An empty package of beef jerky. I suppose beef jerky can pass the time as well as anything else (books, Facebook, but really? Beef jerky?). I have always professed my hate of beef jerky but truth is, I've never tried it. They say you can't really judge something you've never tried.

9:30 a.m. 8/3/2016

"Can I come into your office?"

Who asks? No one. So much so that I've taken to locking my door at lunch, for a short reprieve. "No, please don't." Half joking, but only half. I had a tray of placentas I wanted to finish before I worked on my Q/A.

"So I heard you had a possible autopsy last week, when I (head gross room PA, former defense lawyer) was on vacation." Long silver hair. Pony tail. He was perusing my bulletin board. I felt a little invaded, probably because I just wanted to get some work done. This is the time to acquiesce, because it's not about me. I turned to him and smiled.

"Yeah, but I beat it back. No worries."

"What would you have done? I'm the only deaner. It was a staycation, I could have come in."

"Well, John (morgue assistant - last name Horn - such a smooth voice I made excuses to call him again and again - could hear Gunsmoke re-runs in the background) and I decided that we would muddle through it if we had to. I've never performed the deaner job before, but I've seen plenty. He's seen more. Fortunately we didn't have to test ourselves. If we did, we might have pissed off a funeral home, but that's secondary right?"

"How did you get out of it?"

"It took about ten phone calls, but eventually I did. Wasn't even ordered by a doc. Was a screwy EMR mix up. On some social worker form."

"Wow, that's crazy. Did they ever fix that other problem in the EMR? With mandatory autopsy request by nurses?"

"Yeah, we nipped that in the bud. Don't worry about it."

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