Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Pagers and Placentas

I've been trying to find a good place to put my pager. It's an awkward dated device, one that the liquor store guy laughed at recently. "I didn't know those still existed!" When I wear it on my skirt band, especially if I am wearing a high waist skirt, it can ruin the outfit - a long top has to hike up, making me feel lopsided. I don't need anything extra to make me feel lopsided.

 I tried to put it on my shirt, tucking it around the fabric gracing my shoulder. This works well if you are not getting paged. When I got paged, my eardrum screamed in protest. After three times, that had to be stopped. Now I'm wearing it on my watch. I love this placement. My watch is on my left wrist, and the pager doubles as a lever for my arm while I am reading slides on the scope.

I read something yesterday afternoon in PMG pathology that cracked me up. One of the funniest questions I have ever read there, and it was one of my best friends from residency (Trishie! Hello!).

"What is your policy on giving back grossed-in placentas to the patient for ingestion? Our grossing station and tools are definitely not sterile and I really think we should have a policy prohibiting this."

Funny comments include:

"Yes to Texas law saying moms can have their placentas, but as others above have said, this is direct from Labor and Delivery. Once it hits the pathologist's hands it is ours."

"What? Ew. No."

"Placenta with chorio and funisitis? Very yummy."

"No. This is a big no."

"I don't think we have a specific policy for this, but the only thing we give back after grossing is a fetus for burial."

"Sooooooo gross. I have been grossing placentas for several years before I delivered and was COMPLETELY GROSSED OUT by my own placenta. Just ewwwwww."

"Oh my God. Yuck."

"What is this bizarre obsession with placentas? I read this funny Dave Barry commentary about childbirth recently. He said looking at placentas should be considered a form of punishment - for example, Judge to offender: I sentence you to look at 5 placentas. If you are truly evil you must also gross them."

My friend: "Ok, so if the patient wants to consume the placenta, OB gives it to her directly to bypass the lab. So helpful, I would love see a copy of the policy, thank you so much.

Gotta love female pathologists. And placentas.


Anonymous said...

As my dear (grown) daughter would say WTF??

Gizabeth Shyder said...

I think there is something to this, but I haven't googled it yet. With all the blood loss during delivery you would need an immediate iron replenishment. Placenta's are super bloody. Maybe they have nutrients too.