Friday, May 2, 2014

Death and the Maiden

I am soaking up Lipton this week, reading her book and interpreting her amazingly obsessive and expressive art into my own context. I do this when I discover something or someone I love. I get manic. It's in my genes and bones. I don't think I'm unique in this, but it's nice to recognize and have a bit of control.

I'm so happy it's Friday night. It's been one of those weeks where I can't even open NYtimes and there are 187 blogs backed up in my reader (I won't mark all as read, I will catch up this weekend - it's just what I do). Work has consumed me, but work is a comfort zone that takes me out of my head so that is a good thing. And my partners and co-workers are like a family - wholly supportive and nurturing. Entertaining and witty. 

The specialty of pathology attracts passive personalities - not the rule, but the norm. We tend to shy away from patient interaction. We enjoy visual patterns and hunts for solutions to dilemmas in the quiet of our offices - there are lab distractions and cases that need consultations but overall we get to indulge our natural proclivity for solitude. 

So I surprised myself this week - in the midst of work storm I really enjoyed reaching out to partners and techs for a break from the silence. We all do this, but I had a period of time last fall where I just shut down and did anything and everything I could to get through the day and get home to my kids. This week was different. Problem solving lab issues energized me. Being assertive in certain business situations changed courses and old habits for the better. Jumping into financial melee was empowering. As far as ups and downs go in life, I am definitely on an upswing.

I had an old friend over after dinner for milkshakes with kids. It had been a while. She is amazing and beautiful and a perfect example of turning life struggles into lessons. I loved catching up on the past with new tools to bring to the table. I loved drawing out her daughter into conversation and watching the kids play together. Children bring magic and honesty and innocence to life through ordinary interaction. That is one of my favorite things about being a mother - to watch and learn from them.

While in the darkest embrace of our worst fears, we all find resolution. I tip my hat to death, and embrace the maiden.

No comments: