"Goodnight Cecelia, I love you, I really need to get to lunches, lights out OK?"
"Mom, you just made me suppress a toot."
"Sorry, dear, I'm not taking responsibility for your anal sphincter."
"My what? What is that?"
"Your butt muscle, you know, the one that controls the pooping and the toot squeezing. It's kind of shaped like a donut."
C, giggling: "Ewww, that's gross."
"It's even grosser for me to imagine controlling yours. Anal means butt, coming from anus, another word for butt, and the sphincter is the squeezer."
"So now what is An-ul, um es, um butt?"
"What is Anna Elise's (one of her best friend's) butt? I'm not sure. I know Anna Elise, but I do not know her butt. I'm not sure I want to become acquainted with your friend's butt." I spelled it for her. "A-n-a-l S-p-h-i-n-c-t-e-r." Anal sphincter."
C, guffawing now: "It sounds kind of like Annie's (her aunt) stinker."
Me: "Annie's anal sphincter is a stinker."
C: "I can't wait to tell Annie that! Mom, you gotta blog about this. Except you have to use the names me and Jack picked out the other day. You know, I'm 'Hey hey penguin girl!' and Jack is 'JJBlue7!'"
She said that like she was on an SNL cheerleader skit. "Someday when you have your own blog you can use those names. I'm not gonna. But I might mention them so we remember how hilariously ridiculous they were. It sounds like you and Jack belong in a junior high chat room."
"Night Mom. Love you."