Fantastic post! (((((Hugs))))))You ROCK!
Now that I've had tome to sleep on it...I can relate on many levels. I have a "Happy Marriage", I think (no idea what Hubs thinks!). But I still fantasize about the solo lifestyle and freedoms. Being able to do things around the house/to the house exactly the way I want to do them, the flexible parenting, the decision making on the fly sans having to get an OK from my partner.My brain is mush since I no longer use it. I grieve for her. I miss my career, my life in medicine. I understand exactly what you mean about not being the same person without pathology.The financial empowerment is HUGE! I have none. I have to ask before I spend anything... which is not a control thing but an ADD and money thing, so I guess it's not the same but I feel like a dependent child at times and I think that was what you were expressing. It plays on the self image quite a bit! I am so glad you found that freedom!And, YES!!! I totally remember Wedding Story and Baby Story!!! I wanted to be on Wedding Story but hubs is anti-exhibitionism. *sigh*Giz, I am soooo completely excited for you!!! I love watching you thrive and it really comes through in your blogging! You're like a phoenix =o).
You are awesome! I love that - me, the phoenix. Just hope I don't go out in a ball of flames.I get down, too, DC - lonely, depressed blah blah blah - that stuff just isn't fun to write about. Whenever my head gets too crazy I start a project or go run or pick up a book or something to stuff it all away. It's weird, I haven't cried much at all over it, but I actually welled up in a jewelry store the other day signing a contract to sell my wedding ring on consignment. Not really for the loss, just for feeling so sad about how something that carried such hope in the beginning (I was so young!) went so terribly wrong. Your brain will recover! Keep in mind that you will have much more free time as kids get older and you can use that medical background to do varied and wondrous things. You are obviously highly imaginative and creative. I spent two hours on the phone with the mortgage company this morning trying to defend myself against some financial penalties because they screwed up. I actually had to puzzle through it all like a mystery until the girl on the phone finally figured it out. What a mess. Financial responsibility. I celebrated this afternoon with a spa pedicure - gunmetal sparkly silver for the holiday parties this weekend! Financial freedom! Yes, there is a difference between control and communication, I agree.
Post a Comment