Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Another Blond Moment

I had 45 minutes to kill today before a 4:00 section meeting, and was looking for an excuse to have an "outside classroom" in the beautiful 74 degree November weather. As the head of the microbiology department, I have to sign off on 15-20 procedure manuals every year before December 31st. Last year I waited until December 20th to begin my review, and I decided to get a little head start this year so I wouldn't be so rushed. I wandered back to micro, and found the lab supervisor.

"Nothing to big or heavy. Just a couple of small ones that I can start to go through in a half hour or so."

She said, "Bioterrorism isn't too big. Here, take it, and this one too."

She handed me two identical small black three ring binders, which I assumed were both bioterrorism. Many manuals contain so much material that they have a part one and a part two.

I donned my sunglasses, grabbed a bottled water from my fridge, and headed out to a park bench in front of the hospital. After checking my e-mail and my google reader, I opened a notebook. At the top of the page in giant block letters I read:

CHLAMYDIA TRACHOMATIS AND NEISSERIA GONORRHOEAE

Oh my, I thought with alarm. Bioterrorism has changed a lot in the past year. What in the world could this be about? Where was Anthrax, smallpox, and Yersinia Pestis? I had no idea that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea were agents of bioterrorism. How could they be? It was kind of gross to think about. Then I thought to check the spine of the notebook. RAPID TESTING. Bioterrorism was the other folder. Duh.

8 comments:

The Mother said...

STDs as bioterrorism was tried in the 15th century with syphilis. Worked, too. Armies on all sides were just too damn sick to fight.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Ewww. I can just imagine a bunch of soldiers trying to fight with chancres, skin rashes, and gummas It would look like a zombie war.

Kyla said...

Haha! I do hear STDs rise during times of war.

Arkansas Women Bloggers said...

Hi! We just wanted to take a moment to let you know about the upcoming Arkansas Women Bloggers get-together that will be held at the Museum of Discovery in Little Rock on December 11th. Join us for food, fun and GIVEAWAYS and a chance to meet your fellow women blogger! Please RSVP on our website if you plan to attend. You can find a button on the left side of http://arkansaswomenbloggers.blogspot.com.

Domestically Challenged said...

Gawd, I have the GREATEST visuals! STD Warfare... make love not war...*ORGY*... PSYCH!

Gizabeth Shyder said...

You cannot say psych after you mention such amazing things as STD warfare. Not allowed, here.

MomTFH said...

Ha, love it.

We are doing board review once a week at my rotation site, and there are way too many questions about bioterrorism. Apparently, if three friends go to a football game together and all three get sick, you are supposed to suspect bioterrorism. If they were my college friends, I would suspect alcohol poisoning.

Or chlamydia.

Just kidding. Well, maybe not.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Wow! I don't remember any bioterrorism questions on my boards! Then again, the political scene was a little different back in 1999 when I took my Step 1.