Thursday, June 10, 2010

Life Sucks, And That's Good

My mind is untangling. Detangling. I feel like I've got Sicily's best detangling spray in my nose, and it's huffing its way to my brain. Good stuff.

Due to a fortunate misunderstanding, I've got the kids for the next three weekends in a row. I'm ecstatic. Cloud 9. And mom is taking them so I can still enjoy my day trip Saturday with my friend Ramona and her husband. We're headed to a medical museum in Greenwood - it used to be a jail. Ramona took over the planning since I'm incredibly busy at work this week - and it's nice to relinquish control to a fantastic planner. There's wineries for lunch. Flea markets for shopping. Can't wait to blog about the experience.

Divorce process takes you to incredible highs and lows. Still bugging lawyer for a trial date. I feel like I'm on a slow conveyer belt that is uncontrollable and going nowhere. Must be common, but feels unique.

I've been watching a miniseries this week - Breaking Bad. One of the cytotechs, Tony, brought it to my office last week and told me I would like it. I scoffed. "The last three miniseries I've been introduced to - one carnie, one polygamist, one vampire, have bored me immediately." He replied, "I think you're gonna like this one. I know you. I can tell." Finished my book at the beginning of the week, and gave it a shot. I'm hooked - into 5th episode. Go figure. Someone at work pegged me.

My partner Michelle has been huge emotional support this week, both personally and professionally. This morning we bumped into each other in the doctor's lounge. Sharing stories. One of the radiologists walked in. "Look! It's the dynamic duo." I smiled. Yes, we are a dynamic duo. Almost as much as me and John. I've been wearing a googly-eyed ring all week, and have got tons of compliments. "It's my son - he turned five this week, and made me promise to wear it. Because we are Super Buddies."

Michelle came into my office this afternoon, returning a consult. She is so perceptive. "Do you know how you are different, now? I mean, you've always been great, but you were so neutral. You are finally showing emotion. It's all over the place. It's great." I wondered if she was thinking of the moment I walked into her office, angry as hell on Wed. afternoon, and shut the door. Screamed "FUCK!" at the top of my (whispered - it's a hospital) lungs, fists clenched, spittle flying from my mouth, head spinning around and knees buckling. Then we laughed.

"Do you mean anger?"

"Well, that's nice to see, but no. I mean happiness. You seem happy, overall."

I guess that's good. Life sucks right now, but I'm happy. I'm making plans going to meet my partner Rex's wife for a date at the Rev Room next Wed. to discuss life. We've discussed work a lot, watching Rex play jazz piano, but never life. I think she divorced at a similar time in her life as me, when she was at the end of her residency, with three small boys. I can't wait to pick her brain next week. I've been wanting to talk to her about it for two years. When Rex invited me to the audition/showcase he said, "You need to talk to Jane. She can help, I'll bet."

Looking forward to help. And medical museums. And kid weekends. Detangling. Unwinding. Living.


Kyla said...

Sounds like you have a lot of good coming your way.

It is funny that sometimes when life really does suck, you can still be happy in the midst of it.

Gizabeth Shyder said...

Having kids and good friends helps, doesn't it? They keep you from wallowing in your own misery.

Anonymous said...

Good news! Breaking Bad is an ongoing series, not just a mini-series. You can catch it on TV if you have cable.

I'd have never thought I'd laugh at a body being disposed of, but I did. It's a GREAT show!

Gizabeth Shyder said...

You know anon, I kind of understand what it is, but I don't watch much TV, so I mangled the terminology. Thanks for the correction!