But something else weird is happening. I'm starting to notice that guys look at me. Did this happen before, and I wasn't aware?
Here are some examples:
Doctor's lounge a couple of weeks ago - a surgeon tells me, while I am cranking out coffee from the oil machine, that I look like a teenager. Normally, this would make me blush, but I smiled and engaged him in small talk.
Doctor's lounge a month ago - a specialty surgeon engages me in small talk and gives me way TMI about his history, family life, and divorce. I listen and assure him that I will send any cute single ladies I know his way (although he has already given off enough strange signals that I wonder if this is a good idea, for anyone I know).
My decorator has been helping me organize and get the house ready for market all week. He's playing matchmaker - sending guys 12 years my junior my way - flagrantly showing off the heterosexual eye candy in his life.
When I was at Les last weekend - I walked to the bar to get a beer. Noticed the cellist was cranking his head in my direction - he had a strange political mask on so I've no idea what he looked like but he could play the hell out of the cello. Crick in the neck? I like to think so. Maybe not.
I made a cute histotech blush the other day. He went red from neck to forehead. It was endearing.
I feel like I've got this strange power - one that was maybe always there but I've never been aware of. Makes me feel strong, self-confident, and (yes) alluring.
But let me make things abundantly clear. I'm not looking. Leos are nothing, if not loyal. Fiercely loyal. Even when they humiliate themselves on the internet - yes, embarrassingly loyal.
Still, it's fun to feel pretty. It's been a long time.