Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Anger is self-righteous. Clean. Unadorned. It takes you where you feel you need to go, and has no apologies for the past. It strikes like a snake, without consideration for it's prey. It's just looking for it's next meal. It wears blinders, and isn't always objective. It tries to justify poor-decision making - about yourself, and regarding others around you.

Work is tough. But it is what we all need, to work on anger, and become clear-headed and focused in our decision-making. I don't care how you do it: Gurus, counseling, the church, etc. There's lots of ways to get there. Growth is inevitable. Anger doesn't go away, but it becomes more manageable.

Doubt creeps in slowly like a thick fog, masking reality. It clambers after the gauzy edges of your mind, trying to take hold and destroy you, and all of your work. It carries false promises of savior and renewal through old, worn-out paths.

Hope springs forth. It comes from faith. Faith in whatever: God, Allah, Buddha, Kali (one of my favorites from college - she is so bad ass - here's the photo credit), the human spirit, Darth Vadar, The Wizard of Oz. In the words of George Michael, "You Gotta Have Faith." Without it, you will be lost.

I just Wikipedia'd Kali, to remind myself why I was so fascinated with her in college that my Mom brought me a statue from India. I remember sitting in the Hendrix library reading obsessively about her, going beyond the required text for my world religion class. I have dragged that statue around to the many houses I have lived in. Somehow she always ends up in a prominent place in the house. Right now, she is sitting on a large console in my living room I am blogging in. Holding her human head and wearing her necklace of skulls. Mother of all the Universe. An amalgam of woman as warrior and benevolent nursing devotional mother. I smiled as I read and re-identified with her, in a whole new way, 20 years down the road. Might be fun to read some more.

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